I Don't Love You

<p>Writing this last just for you, to be clear. <br>
I don't love you because I don't matter you<br>
I don't love you because you live like a cockroach and I hate cockroach the most<br>
I don't love you because you simply yell at me<br>
I don't love you because you yell me CIBAI out of nothing <br>
I don't love you because you treat me nothing even game is important than me<br>
I don't love you because you think I am okay all the time<br>
I don't love you because you smell weird<br>
I don't love you because you act like an uncle<br>
I don't love you because you won't tell me what happen to you<br>
I don't love you because you owe people a lot of money and you didn't tell me<br>
I don't love you because you argue everything with me
I don't love you because we never talked even in the same room
I don't love you because you left me alone after you shouted at me and never think it's its your fault
I don't love you because you say you love me but you didn't kiss me
I don't love you because you said i spent your money but you never buy me a thing
I don't love you because you don't buy me a present even on my birthday
I don't love you because you treat me like a kid that you don't listen to me
I don't love you because you give me that scary eye.
I don't love you because you were wrong but you never think you're sorry even after we broke up
I don't love you because of your irresponsible - you don't pay rental and electric water bills until you're chased out by the owner and water and electricity cut down
I don't love you because you always act like you're rich but in fact you borrow a lot
I don't love you because you lied to me
I don't love because you never keep your promise
I don't love you because treated me as your last choice
I don't love you because i accepted you out of so many girls you were chasing at the same time and that mean you weren't really love me at the first place
I don't love you because you embarrassed me in front of so many ppl
I don't love you because you don't respect me
I don't love you because you never bring me somewhere just because of me, anywhere we went was always because of somebody is going then we follow
I don't love yo because you acted very 大男人
I don't love you because you didn't show me some respect
I don't love you because you think I'll forgive you overtime you did wrong and so you keep on repeating

Friends. Oh yaa?!

Couldn't find a best word to describe how I feel right now.
Frustrated? Upset? Hopeless?

I always wanted to ask WHY!

Why are you all being so cruel?
You knew me well
And I thought I knew you well too.
Have I ever overestimated you?
You were my best friend, my non-bloodline brother, that I once make you one.
You knew the whole story
You knew I was not happy with him afterall.
I found my happiness now, but why did you ever turned your back to me?
Why why why..

You know, you broke my heart.
Thanks to you, i am not happy anymore

No matter how hard I tried to make us happy;
Ignored what have you guys gossipped around.
Trying so hard to find the balance
Holding faith that things will go through;

You guys should be chuckled around and feel so good that you guys were all teamed up. You earned the victory.
How freaking proud of yourself that you lose me but you earned the whole armies.

Please don't make me remember you this way.
I will not forgive you forever.

I did wrong too, I know.
I apologized.
What I can do has already been done.
Even I've been trying to pay back my mistakes; it still seems constant.
So much of heartbroken already.

One day, I will have to stand for myself; Even no one is standing for me.
I know this day will come.
I just need a little more rest to recover.
We just need a little more time.

Mr Chong, so sorry I caught you into this unpleasant trap.
So sorry we fell in love to each other was a mistake in the others' eyes.
So sorry we do not have an ordinary startup page; there are obstacles all around since Day 1.

Though, sincerely, nothing is better than cuddling around you by my side;
Nothing can make me happier to see you laugh like a kid even we are going thru a very hard time.
I just hope everything goes well between us.
We can't control externally but I hope we do manage well internally.

Fuck off all bastards!

Please Step Away

Did you really love me?
Did you really treat me as something?
If you did, how come I never felt so?
I am not stupid, I am not either something smart.
I just always wanted you to look into my eyes, hold my hands in my sleep, tell me how much you love me and bring me far far away.
Unfortunately, you never made me feel any of it.
Maybe you did hold my hands, but it's in your sleep.
Maybe you'll say you love me, but it's me that forcing.
Time goes on...
Even you don't hold my hands anymore
Even you don't say you love me anymore
You started to shout at me.
It's ok. You have your temper. I have one too.
And then you started to throw bad words to me, in a really bad way.
I didn't know how long I can hold on.
Thousand of chances have been given, but you made no changes..
That's when a lady will walk away with disappointment.
Speaking of, your attitude was the most terrible one.
I don't know exposing your attitude is or not a bad one
Since you've been faking things out.
I think I'd rather do something sincere.
You owe me a debt.
You owe my housemate too.
And then you owe your close friends;
But you seem so rich to your other new friends.
Fetching people around, treating drinks around, but you couldn't afford to return the debt you owed.
What the heck?!
Please la, don't make me even felt so proud to leave you.
You just make me feel nasty that you even acted so pity that I dumbed you. I was the victim.
You should have paid back before you say you're pity.
What kind of guy are you?
Don't make me felt so bad that I even chosen you before.

I don't know whether you intend to influence my friends or not
But I can see a difference from my friends
I tell y'all here, it's been a disappointment that you're infected.
I felt sadness, but i even felt so lucky that I am aware my friends aren't true friends.
So, I will never ever put my efforts anymore.
If there's once, there will be twice.
Why should I suffer myself when i'm already wounds-surrounded?

Please, everyone, step away if you don't like me.

It's Tough

Nobody ever admitted life isn't tough.

Nobody ever gonna said they are happy all the time.

There's gonna be some ups and downs.

So much you have to sacrifice when you're growing up.

That's how we learn to be tough.

I never said I am tough.

Even the hardest rock can be smashed into dusts.

Even diamond can be carved into shapes.

We human, are flexible.

We shape into shapes, we live even we're dusts.

We cry, we get angry;

We smile, we get guilty.

So many of emoticons can a human shows.

So many a human has to go through.

Sometimes, I get so disappointed.

And I'll just let go.

Apart from gossips, apart from rumours.

There always a chance, to cheer you up.

Let time be the doctor.

Burn away all the bad cancers.

Who says you cannot live alone?

Who says you need people's help?

Who says you'll die if people never given you food?

Crap!

I can find food by myself!

Always treat people's help as an extra

Not a need.

When you does, you won't feel anything when you lose an extra hand.

If not, you'll suffer when you have left one-handed.

True?

However, I just hope everything would get better, real soon.

It's A Tragedy, for me

I search my contact numbers

looking for someone I can really talk to

But I noticed,

there is no one I can talk to.

How pathetic.

Can people erase mistakes done;

I wish I could, truly wishing I can.

There are so much I want to tell.

So much...

Somehow, telling either one can possibly fail me.

I hate growing up.

I hate people living around those scary rumours.

I learnt lessons from people;

Never gossip around;

Never bother what is not related with you.

For one second,

It's bad that I hope I am deaf.

Hope that I can always live in my imaginary perfect space.

I hope I can never knew anything.

PTPTN Released

Nothing is better than seeing your bank account with this large amount of money all in a sudden !

I has been checking my bank account everyday ever since our student bills have been released.

There we go.

It's time for PRISON BREAK!

Friends has been complaining about leaving the gang.

But in fact, I was too broke to go for entertainments.

It's definitely torturing living with penny money of below RM50 everyday, FOR 1 WEEK PLUS already!

Like one day, it's gonna left RM1,

and then what will be for my next meal.

Dead from starving by the roadside under the lamp post?

*imagine*

Living in fear..

Ohh.. such a challenge.

Petrol light lid up.

Cell phone gone 0 balanced.

Everyday stays home.

Everyday cooks.

Skipped breakfast often.

And I totally have no money for even a pasar malam night walk.

What a shame..

Brought out wallet with money lesser than RM10.

How bad could it be?

It's killing man!

I'm just gonna brag a little, since I have past my exam last semester.

Hoo-ray!

God blessed me!

Ok, self-syok session habis.

Time to manage the money.

Gonna grab a phone for myself!

Yay!

By the way, any suggestions?

:D

All Of A Sudden

There are truths, there are lies.

It is you, always around my sides.

Like how much I never thought about.

Like how much it surprised.

For once, giving up was the option.

For second, it's like not the right thing to continue with.

We don't know how it happens or when it happens.

Never know why it's going unstoppable.

Can't find another way for alternative.
And then i'm just gonna accept what is destined to be

When I look into your eyes, I saw my own reflection
It is not about only my reflection
I saw myself in it
I knew I am that much to you.
I knew you were looking at me differently
I truly felt that.
The importance of myself that you sacrificed so much.

I hope i'm not silly this time.
I hope I am not making a wrong decision.
Despite of making this wrong decision,
I just don't know why I felt it's totally a right thing to do.

What could be better than making this wrong decision?

I chuckled by myself all the time, when I look at you
And then you smiled.
Asking me why am I being so funny..

"Because there is you in my life right now"


All of a sudden,
from friend to best friend
from best friend to intimate.
from intimate to...
I can't believe what are we right now.
I call this a chain process.
Step by step, heart to heart.
*I know I am being gross. haha

We always say,
"You were my intimate..I can't believe what is happening now"
Only if you see and I see, then we'll know why are these happening

Everything goes so smooth between us.
You delighted my life.
This is the first time I told myself
I deserved these.
I deserved you.

*PEACE :P

3rd Strike

It was a beautiful morning I had before I found out the package.

I know I asked you to return my stuffs.

But I'm not asking you to return what I've given you.

That's yours.

Not mine.

The moment I saw the box.

My heart went really numb.

I can't felt a thing.

Except questioning WHY?

Why did you return me the gift that I've been saving money to, walking around to, choosing out of choices to give you as your birthday present?

Do you know how much it meant to me?

Do you know how much it just simply affects me?

Now you're just the 3rd man hurting me at the same time.

How many times should I be going thru these?

I hardly raise my head to life right now.

Everything goes like up and down.

And I am just not enough to change the fact.

It's been tough these days.

I hardly breathed.

I hardly move my ass.

Why do those shits keep coming to me?

I've always wanted everyone beside me to be happy

But now I am the reason why they're not happy at all.

I swear I didn't mean this.

I didn't mean to change any of your life.

Somehow, life isn't like what I wanted right now.

I couldn't cope uncertainties.

Smiling around doesn't help at all.

Why couldn't I be smart a little?

At least I can protect all of them?

It's just so tough these days.

I couldn't stop saying

"I am very SORRY"

SORRY FOR ALL I'VE DONE.

SORRY FOR DAMAGING ANY OF YOUR HEART.

I'd do everything I could to punish myself